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[ i don't want drama i want stupidity
somehow they make it to anna's weird forced proximity gothic house and are drawn to the same room
intrusive thought comes out: ] Oh, it's been a while.
[ since they shared bedspace ]
somehow they make it to anna's weird forced proximity gothic house and are drawn to the same room
intrusive thought comes out: ] Oh, it's been a while.
[ since they shared bedspace ]
[ thanks rng
two guys walk into a single bedroom, except one of them is cursed to narrate everything that happens around him. ]
And here we have His Majesty, the King of Kouka, stating the obvious while standing in a bedroom filled with strange and eerie decor. How unusual for him.
[ the way i had to watch a yt video because it's been so long since i've seen a nature docu ]
two guys walk into a single bedroom, except one of them is cursed to narrate everything that happens around him. ]
And here we have His Majesty, the King of Kouka, stating the obvious while standing in a bedroom filled with strange and eerie decor. How unusual for him.
[ the way i had to watch a yt video because it's been so long since i've seen a nature docu ]
Edited 2025-11-15 02:40 (UTC)
Please don't say that so loudly...
[ exhausted... he doesn't want to be king anymore... but more accurately he doesn't want to deal with anyone who might Feel a Way about him being king
with a hint of amusement, ]
Did you eat something strange, Hak?
[ was this a cursed food or candy... ]
[ exhausted... he doesn't want to be king anymore... but more accurately he doesn't want to deal with anyone who might Feel a Way about him being king
with a hint of amusement, ]
Did you eat something strange, Hak?
[ was this a cursed food or candy... ]
[ there is literally a person right here who Feels a Way about him being king? but there is only stupidity allowed in this thread so, ]
I haven't eaten anything since the candy house. [ he did watch some people eat like a weirdo though. ] Besides, this whole place is strange.
[ what's soo-won up to though....my narration content ]
I haven't eaten anything since the candy house. [ he did watch some people eat like a weirdo though. ] Besides, this whole place is strange.
[ what's soo-won up to though....my narration content ]
[ they can mutually feel A Way about it though admittedly soo-won is wandering into the room with curiosity—open, unabashed curiosity the same way that he's examining everything in this place except for the chapel. as long as it's not related to divinity, he's fascinated. ]
It is, isn't it? And we haven't gotten closer to finding the exit or what we're missi—
[ this is about the time that a little grey furball barges into the room and despite himself, he stops and gasps softly... cute... ]
Oh, hello.
[ listen he does feel weird around hak still but being awkward 24/7 is also not his style ]
It is, isn't it? And we haven't gotten closer to finding the exit or what we're missi—
[ this is about the time that a little grey furball barges into the room and despite himself, he stops and gasps softly... cute... ]
Oh, hello.
[ listen he does feel weird around hak still but being awkward 24/7 is also not his style ]
[ me: i'm not going to write feelings anymore
hak: watches soo-won explore with unabashed curiosity and feels an emotion
get me out of here
but the Compulsion to narrate helps, even if there's a moment where the memory of two children flashes through his mind. while soo-won inspects, hak takes a seat at the edge of the bed, leaning back on his palms. ]
His— [ ah wait ] Soo-won takes stock of his new territory, familiarizing himself with the layout and furnishings. Unfortunately, he's interrupted halfway through by the arrival of a new challenger? What will Soo-won do next?
[ damn, maybe he should take up being a competition announcer ]
hak: watches soo-won explore with unabashed curiosity and feels an emotion
get me out of here
but the Compulsion to narrate helps, even if there's a moment where the memory of two children flashes through his mind. while soo-won inspects, hak takes a seat at the edge of the bed, leaning back on his palms. ]
His— [ ah wait ] Soo-won takes stock of his new territory, familiarizing himself with the layout and furnishings. Unfortunately, he's interrupted halfway through by the arrival of a new challenger? What will Soo-won do next?
[ damn, maybe he should take up being a competition announcer ]
[ oh
well
he's not sure what he expected, but he likes being called soo-won again
it's enough to make him pause, and if the smile that he directs toward the little kitty that's joined them is a bit more sincere and also a little bit quicker then
no one can ever prove its source ]
Challenger... I see. That's the type of story it is. [ sure he'll play along. he's not cursed but he's enthralled and swept up immediately. why not go with it while he's still feeling well? he squares up against the little nyan, who looks up at him with big eyes, and soo-won reaches his hands out with curved fingers... is he trying to catch it... or scare it...
neither attempt seems to be working ]
well
he's not sure what he expected, but he likes being called soo-won again
it's enough to make him pause, and if the smile that he directs toward the little kitty that's joined them is a bit more sincere and also a little bit quicker then
no one can ever prove its source ]
Challenger... I see. That's the type of story it is. [ sure he'll play along. he's not cursed but he's enthralled and swept up immediately. why not go with it while he's still feeling well? he squares up against the little nyan, who looks up at him with big eyes, and soo-won reaches his hands out with curved fingers... is he trying to catch it... or scare it...
neither attempt seems to be working ]
[ i lied about finally being able to eat my chips i forgot i still needed to tag you
I am also here for stupidity. Hi. They are in the cathouse and Elysium is desperately trying to vacate these furry creatures from the premises, but they keep? Spawning out of nowhere? Hello? So, picking them up one by one and trying to deposit them out the window may not be the most efficient way of doing this, but it is the only way he knows how and humanely at that…
Even if he is essentially taking over their space and unlawfully evicting them. Anyway! ]
Where do guys keep coming from? [ while gently letting another cat out. ] Stop. You aren't going to win.
[ they are winning. ]
I am also here for stupidity. Hi. They are in the cathouse and Elysium is desperately trying to vacate these furry creatures from the premises, but they keep? Spawning out of nowhere? Hello? So, picking them up one by one and trying to deposit them out the window may not be the most efficient way of doing this, but it is the only way he knows how and humanely at that…
Even if he is essentially taking over their space and unlawfully evicting them. Anyway! ]
Where do guys keep coming from? [ while gently letting another cat out. ] Stop. You aren't going to win.
[ they are winning. ]
[ the cats are definitely winning and it's partly because hak has not lifted a single finger to help elysium in his war against furrykind. this useless pos. instead he is (once again) leaned against a wall, trying not to snicker as elysium deposits one furry friend out the window only to turn and see another one take it's place. ]
Maybe you should find a way to copy yourself.
[ imagine....hundreds of elysiums to combat the hundreds of cats ]
Maybe you should find a way to copy yourself.
[ imagine....hundreds of elysiums to combat the hundreds of cats ]
[ this sassy lost child who is anywhere from three to twelve years younger than him. and don't even go there, please. ]
No need.
[ He smiles beatifically, padding over and depositing the cat that'd manifested in that exact fuckin place into Hak's arms. ]
Isn't that what you're here for? [ Is he going to let the cat fall. Is he. Elysium is testing his spirit. ] Thanks!
No need.
[ He smiles beatifically, padding over and depositing the cat that'd manifested in that exact fuckin place into Hak's arms. ]
Isn't that what you're here for? [ Is he going to let the cat fall. Is he. Elysium is testing his spirit. ] Thanks!
[ not this nebulous age range
but, ah, that sure is a cat being placed lovingly into his arms. but it's fine, he likes cats well enough? nothing wrong with that. hak looks at the cat, an orange tabby. the tabby gazes adoringly back at him.
and then promptly jams both paws into his face.
he immediately marches to the window and lets the cat free. elysium's plan is working. ]
but, ah, that sure is a cat being placed lovingly into his arms. but it's fine, he likes cats well enough? nothing wrong with that. hak looks at the cat, an orange tabby. the tabby gazes adoringly back at him.
and then promptly jams both paws into his face.
he immediately marches to the window and lets the cat free. elysium's plan is working. ]
[ wow that took almost no effort at all. He resists the urge to clap; can't provoke his new helper elf before he quits on the spot.
On the other hand… the cats sense? Weakness? A few toddle over to Hak and crowd him for his attention. One presses a paw against his foot. Up. ]
There's someone who I think's allergic. [ raf. proceeds to explain his actions. ] I thought I'd try to clear a room for him, but this is ridiculous. Do they have teleporting powers or something?
On the other hand… the cats sense? Weakness? A few toddle over to Hak and crowd him for his attention. One presses a paw against his foot. Up. ]
There's someone who I think's allergic. [ raf. proceeds to explain his actions. ] I thought I'd try to clear a room for him, but this is ridiculous. Do they have teleporting powers or something?
[ oh, cats. so fickle in their wants and behaviors.
their furry friend slips through soo-won's fingers and instead gracefully leaps onto the bed to sniff at hak's legs. ah. ]
In a show of dominance [ not really but he's sticking with the theme here ] Soo-won reaches out one hand, only to be rebuffed as his opponent changes course and heads for the audience.
[ pause in narration while hak gives the kitty a scritch—or tries to, except he also gets rejected as the cat slinks around and jumps onto the nightstand. hak cracks a smile. ]
Looks like neither of us were good enough for His Majesty.
[ the cat, he's talking about the cat ]
their furry friend slips through soo-won's fingers and instead gracefully leaps onto the bed to sniff at hak's legs. ah. ]
In a show of dominance [ not really but he's sticking with the theme here ] Soo-won reaches out one hand, only to be rebuffed as his opponent changes course and heads for the audience.
[ pause in narration while hak gives the kitty a scritch—or tries to, except he also gets rejected as the cat slinks around and jumps onto the nightstand. hak cracks a smile. ]
Looks like neither of us were good enough for His Majesty.
[ the cat, he's talking about the cat ]
[ IGNORES HOW THE LAST SENTENCE SOUNDS if hak is still smiling then they probably aren't about to step on a landmine... maybe.... ]
I don't think we'll ever find a companion that likes us as much as Gulfan...
[ ah. he misses gulfan...
but he'll still try to slowly... slowly... step toward the nightstand with his hand outstretched... please choose him kitty, please let him pet!! he wants to pet!!! ]
Are you tired, Hak? I can find more blankets and keep watch if you'd like to rest your eyes.
I don't think we'll ever find a companion that likes us as much as Gulfan...
[ ah. he misses gulfan...
but he'll still try to slowly... slowly... step toward the nightstand with his hand outstretched... please choose him kitty, please let him pet!! he wants to pet!!! ]
Are you tired, Hak? I can find more blankets and keep watch if you'd like to rest your eyes.
[ can't believe it's day one and hak has already found a job. jk this is a mandatory volunteer assignment. anyway i'm putting this thread after my thread with raf so we can spin our cr web, thanks. ]
You mean the guy with the notebook? [ literally all he knows about raf. ] I thought he was just scared.
[ both things can be true. ]
You mean the guy with the notebook? [ literally all he knows about raf. ] I thought he was just scared.
[ both things can be true. ]
[ hak, employed…… he's doing so well in purgatory ]
Is that what it was?
[ the noncommittal affirmation…
And normally he'd go straight for the exposure-therapy approach, but after everything they've just been through he's feeling a little more charitable than usual… so he keeps plucking these cats away one by one, pretending there's an end to their madness. ]
Still means they aren't all that comfortable to be around. This place has been weird enough as is—having at least one spot to unwind makes a difference.
Is that what it was?
[ the noncommittal affirmation…
And normally he'd go straight for the exposure-therapy approach, but after everything they've just been through he's feeling a little more charitable than usual… so he keeps plucking these cats away one by one, pretending there's an end to their madness. ]
Still means they aren't all that comfortable to be around. This place has been weird enough as is—having at least one spot to unwind makes a difference.
Edited (i just realised i never even finished his sentence (nat voice) what da hael) 2025-11-15 12:13 (UTC)
[ hak, who is used to being a bully to pretty much everyone he meets: why is this guy being so nice to the other guy
but now that he's been surrounded by cats, it's time to bend down and pet the nearest one. slacking on the job already.....this is why he's unemployed. ]
Is he a good friend of yours?
but now that he's been surrounded by cats, it's time to bend down and pet the nearest one. slacking on the job already.....this is why he's unemployed. ]
Is he a good friend of yours?
[ this is why in his retelling to soo-won, he was defeated by the evil. ]
You could say that. We've been through a lot together…
[ They literally just met. ]
But I'm mostly trying to take it easy. This place is weird, [ hm! he goes somewhat pale, hand extending to brace himself against a wall, ] but it's not that weird, you know? Comparatively.
[ imagine hak having to deal with multiple people throwing up ]
You could say that. We've been through a lot together…
[ They literally just met. ]
But I'm mostly trying to take it easy. This place is weird, [ hm! he goes somewhat pale, hand extending to brace himself against a wall, ] but it's not that weird, you know? Comparatively.
[ imagine hak having to deal with multiple people throwing up ]
[ mentally assigns them as friends even though that is very likely wrong
also while i would love for hak to get puked on a second time, he is a smidge more considerate than his rough exterior might let on. the cats go forgotten as he watches elysium sway and his focus sharpens to a needle point, worry threading through his voice. ]
Are you also sick?
[ 'also'? ]
also while i would love for hak to get puked on a second time, he is a smidge more considerate than his rough exterior might let on. the cats go forgotten as he watches elysium sway and his focus sharpens to a needle point, worry threading through his voice. ]
Are you also sick?
[ 'also'? ]
[ IS IT WRONG? He would genuinely be distraught if Rafayel didn't consider him one back?? It's different when a Wriothesley denies friendship as that's to be expected, but he'd thought they got it on pretty well…
Not that he's currently worrying about that when his plate's already full as is. You play such kindly characters, sniff.
'Also'…?
[ just says his brackets. he will not be talking about himself at this time. ]
Not that he's currently worrying about that when his plate's already full as is. You play such kindly characters, sniff.
'Also'…?
[ just says his brackets. he will not be talking about himself at this time. ]
[ is it kind or is it just having a conscience and believing everyone has rights.....
anyway ely doesn't want to talk about himself and hak doesn't want to talk about (soo-)won which leaves them at an impasse. just kidding, it leaves them back at their original topic of rafayel. ]
Yeah, a guy puked on me earlier. [ ... ] The same guy we were talking about actually.
[ just casually throws raf under the bus, nbd ]
anyway ely doesn't want to talk about himself and hak doesn't want to talk about (soo-)won which leaves them at an impasse. just kidding, it leaves them back at their original topic of rafayel. ]
Yeah, a guy puked on me earlier. [ ... ] The same guy we were talking about actually.
[ just casually throws raf under the bus, nbd ]
[ the bar is so low. you know this.
But that gets him started so fast he almost hurls. Oops! He settles back down. Surely there is no connection between the equally awful states of these two guys who seem to know each other. ]
Wait, really? No way. We split because we both agreed we'd be fine. Where's he now?
[ do not point out how he is also a filthy liar because how is both when it's neither ]
But that gets him started so fast he almost hurls. Oops! He settles back down. Surely there is no connection between the equally awful states of these two guys who seem to know each other. ]
Wait, really? No way. We split because we both agreed we'd be fine. Where's he now?
[ do not point out how he is also a filthy liar because how is both when it's neither ]
[ instead of answering, hak simply gets up and.....leaves? okay.
and then comes back some two minutes later with a glass of water that he holds out to elysium. there are little bat motifs all over the cup. how charming. ]
Beats me. [ he is finally answering the question but unfortunately he only babysits children he likes and rafayel is not one of those children. ] He's probably fine though. It was because I was running too fast while I was carrying him.
[ continues to throw rafayel under the bus ]
and then comes back some two minutes later with a glass of water that he holds out to elysium. there are little bat motifs all over the cup. how charming. ]
Beats me. [ he is finally answering the question but unfortunately he only babysits children he likes and rafayel is not one of those children. ] He's probably fine though. It was because I was running too fast while I was carrying him.
[ continues to throw rafayel under the bus ]
[ this is why i had to curse him otherwise there would have been 50 landmines ]
We did train him since we were kids.
[ harder to break that sort of lifelong bond. (haha, and yet...?) but he watches as soo-won valiantly tries to regroup, once again stretching out one hand despite having been rebuffed already. unfortunately the rng gods are not on his side and miss kitty once again leaps away to go sniff at a corner of the room. sadge. you know what will fix this? a good narration. ]
Having been defeated, Soo-won begins preparations for his consolation match. Hard to say what he's thinking right now, but all evidence points towards a potential pillow fight.
[ the answer is: he's not tired. ]
We did train him since we were kids.
[ harder to break that sort of lifelong bond. (haha, and yet...?) but he watches as soo-won valiantly tries to regroup, once again stretching out one hand despite having been rebuffed already. unfortunately the rng gods are not on his side and miss kitty once again leaps away to go sniff at a corner of the room. sadge. you know what will fix this? a good narration. ]
Having been defeated, Soo-won begins preparations for his consolation match. Hard to say what he's thinking right now, but all evidence points towards a potential pillow fight.
[ the answer is: he's not tired. ]
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