ic inbox

[handfast]

ok

nicknames

rafayel - scaredy cat
fiammetta - old lady
tokinaga - mr know it all

Comments

[paenitete]

Sounds like a maze all right.

So you solved the mystery? And the answer was that Yona was the one who slayed this person?

[ slayed him? ]

[handfast]

She was the one who killed me first. [ first? ] Someone else killed me again at the end.

[paenitete]

[ heaviness bears hard down her chest. hak would feel it. ]

You died more than once?!

[handfast]

I didn't feel it the first time. [ so it's fine? he doesn't seem too bothered by it, at least. ] We all woke up knowing we'd been killed but not who killed us.

[paenitete]

[ that's kind of a relief... that heaviness eases up. ]

So you didn't actually... experience Yona doing that to you. You just found out she did it.

[ right? ]

[handfast]

Yeah. [ although...... ] I felt what I felt when I - the other me - died. How angry and upset I was.

[ there wasn't much physical pain but the emotional pain was there. ]

[paenitete]

You thought you didn't deserve it?

[handfast]

...I don't know. [ he's not sure about a lot, it seems. ] I guess the other me didn't. But if we really did what they said we did, then...

[ hmmmmm. he thinks about it. ]

I still think there could have been another way.

[paenitete]

Another way... like you think your other self didn't have to die like that?

[handfast]

Yeah. Maybe he could have talked to his friends or been less worried about his reputation instead of letting things get so bad.

[paenitete]

You think he would've changed?

[handfast]

I don't know. Maybe.

[ thinking about this so deeply is making his head hurt. ]

Doesn't everyone change depending on who they spend time with? At least a little.

[paenitete]

Sure. For better or for worse.

What about Soo-won?

[handfast]

[ looks over ]

What about him?

[paenitete]

Yuma told me he was there in that maze too. Or you saw him, anyway. He was spectating some life-or-death board game.

[handfast]

Yeah.

[ that much he can answer. ]

He was always better at strategy than I was.

[paenitete]

He was the one who executed you then, right? Because Yuma lost.

[handfast]

.......Yeah. [ another long pause. ] But it was better that way.

[paenitete]

Better that he was the one to do it? Or that your other self was killed?

[handfast]

Better that I didn't kill him.

[paenitete]

So you would've had to do it if the commander lost.

[ makes sense. why would soo-won be the one to kill hak otherwise? ]

You didn't want to?

[handfast]

[ it's not something he's vocalized aloud very often but it has been on his mind more and more often lately. ]

I don't want to kill Soo-won.

[paenitete]

[ i know this is a profound moment for him. but. ]

I think that's obvious enough with how often I see you two around each other.

[ they are silly... ]

But I did talk to him this week. I understand your situation with him better now.

[handfast]

What, friends can't hang out with each other?

[ are they friends? whatever. he does look vaguely interested by this admission though. ]

What'd he say?

[paenitete]

If you're hanging out like friends, I think it's safe to assume you don't want to kill him. That's all.

[ she looks at the gardens again, trying to recall that night in the casino. i, nat, go back to the thread.... ]

We talked about everything he did and why he did it. It sounds like he really loves you and Yona.