Are you going to tell me what it is again? [ lightly teasing...but it's nice to know he has someone he can rely on here. ] What about you? You were in the river with me. Maybe you forgot me.
[ does he? no, because so many of the memories linger in his mind even now. hearing the screams of the people he knows here as he cuts them apart, feeling their blood sear his skin. being blindsided with the knowledge he'd been a terrible awful person with no regard to the sanctity of human life.
his hand on soo-won's shoulder (or whatever part of him he's holding onto idk) tightens. ]
[ . . . okay well. since he's still helping hak around, he can't really give him any consoling touches. he's probably not even sure he's meant to but. he will at least briefly rest his head against hak's in a little clonk ]
... then it's not.
[ as simple as that ]
We can still talk about if you wish to, so you don't need to carry it by yourself... [ this is so hypocritical coming from soo-won but whatever ] But none of it has to be true.
[ feels depressed over soo-won again at midnight sunday
hak is always feeling some kind of way about soo-won and right now is no exception, though at least it isn't for the usual reasons. but he isn't delirious and half-dead anymore, which means he has better control over all the crazy thoughts in his head. damn i should have kept our other thread going longer, goes back in time. ]
Do you think that's what happens when we die? [ just changes the subject. ] We get reborn into a new life?
and you know what? despite everything, despite the fact that he is so close to the end, he's found... he hasn't really thought about it ]
... I don't know. I'm not sure.
Would you want that?
[ soo-won isn't sure he would. on his best days, it sounds appealing. a get to chance to love the world all over again. on his worst, it sounds... exhausting. to do all this again. ]
but hak's answer doesn't take as long. maybe because it's been something he's been thinking about ever since he woke up with a second set of memories. ]
Only if I didn't have to remember my previous life.
[ lives? whatever. that was such a pain, having to reconcile two sets of memories and stop one from bleeding into the other. even so...
.... ]
You were in the other one though. The princess too.
[ . . . hm. he supposes that's fair. a clean slate and everything. they probably made it into the manor rooms by now, and soo-won brings hak to wherever hak's been staying. what even is their rooming arrangement. are they not staying together. where did they set up gulfan.
at the mention of another him though, he frowns. ]
[ dice maiden said they weren't roommates, puts this into writing. copies from dms: they can have one of those rooms that just had an adjoining door.... opens it at random to bother the other person before you remember your relationship is fraught
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Some guy named Won. Likes to sneak out to places he shouldn't be.
[ this is clearly a joke ]
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[ he's hoping it's not a joke ]
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Of course I remember you. I wouldn't be acting like this if I forgot you.
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Mm. I don't know how much it takes.
[ he'd think about dropping hak into the river more often if memories weren't such an insane roulette ]
I suppose we'll find out eventually what's gone. Maybe after you rest.
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Are you going to tell me what it is again? [ lightly teasing...but it's nice to know he has someone he can rely on here. ] What about you? You were in the river with me. Maybe you forgot me.
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[ so who knows? there were like 200 chapters where they were separated ]
... I don't know. I forgot my mother last time. I still remember my father. So I wonder what it could be?
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[ well he did forget yona, so maybe that's not so surprising. ]
Maybe you forgot Joo-doh. [ if only. ] Or Gulfan.
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... no, it's all there. What of you? Your companions? All four dragons? Yoon?
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They're all there. [ wait a minute. he remembers something. makes a face. ] Wish I could forget one of them though.
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Which one...?
[ he likes all the dragons, hilariously ]
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[ that stupid SLUT. (and yet he still misses him.....) ]
....He was there where I was. Or some version of him was.
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... I like Jae-ha. He's quite mature and resourceful.
[ thinks about how soo-won put jae-ha in charge of the expedition to the province ]
So I imagine... if it's anything like what I've heard these places could be... he'd be difficult as an opponent or a fallen ally.
[ lets hak decide how much he wants to say on it ]
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He's the one who almost broke my leg. [ a little exasperated, a little fond, though both vanish almost immediately. ] Not that it mattered in the end.
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... what ended up happening?
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They made us play a game of chess. The pieces were people were knew. He was one of them.
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... I see. I'm sorry.
[ since he can imagine rather easily that jae-ha probably didn't make it, based on that silence. ]
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It wasn't real. [ even if it felt painfully real. ] And when we get out of here and I see him again, I'll kick his ass for making me go through that.
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but soo-won frowns... ]
... right. Perhaps he might enjoy it.
[ on account of. you know. ]
... do you feel that certainly? That it wasn't real?
[ considering that this is what soo-won talked to yosuke about after he got back ]
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his hand on soo-won's shoulder (or whatever part of him he's holding onto idk) tightens. ]
I don't want them to be real.
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... then it's not.
[ as simple as that ]
We can still talk about if you wish to, so you don't need to carry it by yourself... [ this is so hypocritical coming from soo-won but whatever ] But none of it has to be true.
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hak is always feeling some kind of way about soo-won and right now is no exception, though at least it isn't for the usual reasons. but he isn't delirious and half-dead anymore, which means he has better control over all the crazy thoughts in his head. damn i should have kept our other thread going longer, goes back in time. ]
Do you think that's what happens when we die? [ just changes the subject. ] We get reborn into a new life?
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and you know what? despite everything, despite the fact that he is so close to the end, he's found... he hasn't really thought about it ]
... I don't know. I'm not sure.
Would you want that?
[ soo-won isn't sure he would. on his best days, it sounds appealing. a get to chance to love the world all over again. on his worst, it sounds... exhausting. to do all this again. ]
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but hak's answer doesn't take as long. maybe because it's been something he's been thinking about ever since he woke up with a second set of memories. ]
Only if I didn't have to remember my previous life.
[ lives? whatever. that was such a pain, having to reconcile two sets of memories and stop one from bleeding into the other. even so...
.... ]
You were in the other one though. The princess too.
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at the mention of another him though, he frowns. ]
... sorry.
[ preemptively
for whatever the other version of himself did? ]
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fraughthak immediately frowns. ]
For what? Why do you think you did something bad?
[ like, he did, but?? ]
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