there's something about the way soo-won says it that fills him with a strange anxiety. anyone else he would have shrugged off or dismissed, but not soo-won. his frown creases deeper across his face. ]
[ i was trying to avoid it but there’s literally no way. ]
It’ll come back.
[ there’s no future in which hak would be able to erase a lifetime with yona. eventually, it will all come back. maybe when she wakes up, maybe sooner. but soo-won has no illusions about this. he can say it with confidence
there are also some things suddenly making sense to him that he’s compartmentalizing right now ]
… we grew up together. The three of us. She’s a brave, brilliant girl with beautiful red hair and large, cute eyes. [ soo-won always talked about how cute she was and this will never change ]
You care for her more than anyone in the world, which is why I’m sure you’ll remember her.
hak tries to imagine the image soo-won lays out before them. the three of them playing together, talking together, laughing together. but while he can see soo-won clear as day and envision a head of red hair, the face of the third member of their little party remains nothing but a greyed out blur, indistinguishable no matter how much he tries.
still. soo-won wouldn't lie to him. not about the things that really matter. not now. but he does have to ask: ]
Even you?
[ he may have once wanted to kill soo-won with his bare hands and there may still be a thorn of unhappiness that digs itself deeper each time hak thinks about soo-won, but none of that changes the fact that there are very few people he would go to the ends of the earth for and none of them top soo-won (that he can remember).
because what he's compartmentalizing is the fact that, as he'd always known, even though soo-won would always want hak, he will never want hak more than he thinks that hak should be with yona. and hak has probably only mended their relationship this much and admitted to caring for soo-won this much because he's forgotten what it all cost yona.
but soo-won has decided to cross that bridge when it comes. he knows rationally that pulling away from hak again now will probably just upset him, so he'll just wait to be hated again later.
he places a hand on hak's arm. ]
I love Yona, much like how I care for you. [ for some reason saying 'like how i love you' directly to hak's face and in present tense feels. too much. so he doesn't even if it's a little obvious ] But as long as you're alright, then she'll be safe. I'm confident about that.
but thankfully i'm back to being sick of melodramatic gays so we are swerving this thread back to its original intent. soo-won is so confident that it's hard to not to believe him, and some of hak's anxiety dissipates, retreating like the ocean tide. (he doesn't notice the change in verbiage, much to everyone's relief.)
he nods once in confirmation, then nods back towards the assorted boxes. ]
[ soo-won is just more honest than hak except for moments where he isn't... also soo-won is more self-defeating than hak in this specific way so it means i force you to het regardless
anyway! no more melodrama because soo-won is also confident about this. he will think more on ways to remind hak of yona later ]
Did you get yours open already?
[ they could admittedly go on a date but also soo-won is impatient and wants to open this fucking box faster since he thinks it could maybe be hak's weapon ]
[ just because soo-won doesn't feel or have interest in romance for himself doesn't mean he's blind to it in others (unless it is. also directed at him.) ]
soo-won may be naturally affectionate but hak is not (unless it's for bullying purposes) so the careful touches make him feel some kind of way (the way is awkward). his turn to also turn a little pink. ]
[ hak being a little shit makes this easier!! it is easier to remember that soo-won really does just adore him. his thumb brushes against hak’s cheek and this time it’s purely because he wants to ]
so he’ll lean in the rest of the way and try again with another kiss. it’s unpracticed and unfamiliar still, but it is a bit sweet. soo-won’s smile lingers slightly in the press of it.
but when he pulls back, he tries his actual plan, ]
You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted for myself.
[ words that he means sincerely and can admit without fear, but never had a reason to say before. ‘want’ is nebulous, formless, and he’s going to keep it that way… but it’s true to what he feels.
does that make this tender? is this emotionally intimate? bitch he doesn’t know he wants to open the box
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Yona?
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blinks ]
Yes? Yona?
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pulls out his shard to show soo-won. ]
Is that Yona?
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… yes.
[ slow dawning horror ]
… you don’t remember her.
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there's something about the way soo-won says it that fills him with a strange anxiety. anyone else he would have shrugged off or dismissed, but not soo-won. his frown creases deeper across his face. ]
Should I? It feels like I should but I can't.
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It’ll come back.
[ there’s no future in which hak would be able to erase a lifetime with yona. eventually, it will all come back. maybe when she wakes up, maybe sooner. but soo-won has no illusions about this. he can say it with confidence
there are also some things suddenly making sense to him that he’s compartmentalizing right now ]
… we grew up together. The three of us. She’s a brave, brilliant girl with beautiful red hair and large, cute eyes. [ soo-won always talked about how cute she was and this will never change ]
You care for her more than anyone in the world, which is why I’m sure you’ll remember her.
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hak tries to imagine the image soo-won lays out before them. the three of them playing together, talking together, laughing together. but while he can see soo-won clear as day and envision a head of red hair, the face of the third member of their little party remains nothing but a greyed out blur, indistinguishable no matter how much he tries.
still. soo-won wouldn't lie to him. not about the things that really matter. not now. but he does have to ask: ]
Even you?
[ he may have once wanted to kill soo-won with his bare hands and there may still be a thorn of unhappiness that digs itself deeper each time hak thinks about soo-won, but none of that changes the fact that there are very few people he would go to the ends of the earth for and none of them top soo-won (that he can remember).
anyway, ]
It sounds like she was important to you too.
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[ without hesitation.
because what he's compartmentalizing is the fact that, as he'd always known, even though soo-won would always want hak, he will never want hak more than he thinks that hak should be with yona. and hak has probably only mended their relationship this much and admitted to caring for soo-won this much because he's forgotten what it all cost yona.
but soo-won has decided to cross that bridge when it comes. he knows rationally that pulling away from hak again now will probably just upset him, so he'll just wait to be hated again later.
he places a hand on hak's arm. ]
I love Yona, much like how I care for you. [ for some reason saying 'like how i love you' directly to hak's face and in present tense feels. too much. so he doesn't even if it's a little obvious ] But as long as you're alright, then she'll be safe. I'm confident about that.
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but thankfully i'm back to being sick of melodramatic gays so we are swerving this thread back to its original intent. soo-won is so confident that it's hard to not to believe him, and some of hak's anxiety dissipates, retreating like the ocean tide. (he doesn't notice the change in verbiage, much to everyone's relief.)
he nods once in confirmation, then nods back towards the assorted boxes. ]
We still need to open your box.
[ technically his box, but. ]
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anyway! no more melodrama because soo-won is also confident about this. he will think more on ways to remind hak of yona later ]
Did you get yours open already?
[ they could admittedly go on a date but also soo-won is impatient and wants to open this fucking box faster since he thinks it could maybe be hak's weapon ]
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Yeah. I went on a date.
[ makes the box his weapon because i can't think of anything else ]
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help do you want it to be his weapon or it could be gulfan. punches airholes in the box for their bird child ]
Oh that's nice, did you have fun?
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It was fine. [ promising. ] Do you want to go on a date to open the box?
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[ IMPATIENT. IF ANYTHING HE'S MORE IMPATIENT IF THERE'S AIR HOLES IN THE BOX BECAUSE HE CAN GUESS THAT IT MIGHT BE GULFAN ]
What makes a kiss tender, Hak?
[ assumes hak would know ]
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How would I know? I've never kissed anyone like that before.
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Really...? But you've always been so popular...
[ just because soo-won doesn't feel or have interest in romance for himself doesn't mean he's blind to it in others (unless it is. also directed at him.) ]
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[ who is he, jae-ha?? disgusting. but hmm...... ]
Feels like something that would be easier with somoene you liked.
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[ hhmmm then he’s not even sure if this will work since it’s not the type of thing soo-won knows anything about… ]
Let me try again?
[ he has an idea ]
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[ that's not a no ]
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I’m trying to be efficient…!
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Sure, go ahead.
[ he will not move though. soo-won will have to show his top side for this and make the first move. ]
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but also it’s not hard for him to step forward afterward into hak’s space like it’s second nature, tilting his head ]
Maybe something like… this?
[ if he gently brushes hak’s bangs back with his fingers, and then lets his palm rest against hak’s cheek
he is still a little pink but!! he is also a little playful, like he is curiously trying something new. punk is this tender ]
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soo-won may be naturally affectionate but hak is not (unless it's for bullying purposes) so the careful touches make him feel some kind of way (the way is awkward). his turn to also turn a little pink. ]
Are you going to stand there all day?
[ stop killing the vibe hak ]
[1/2]
Are you impatient?
[ hak being a little shit makes this easier!! it is easier to remember that soo-won really does just adore him. his thumb brushes against hak’s cheek and this time it’s purely because he wants to ]
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so he’ll lean in the rest of the way and try again with another kiss. it’s unpracticed and unfamiliar still, but it is a bit sweet. soo-won’s smile lingers slightly in the press of it.
but when he pulls back, he tries his actual plan, ]
You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted for myself.
[ words that he means sincerely and can admit without fear, but never had a reason to say before. ‘want’ is nebulous, formless, and he’s going to keep it that way… but it’s true to what he feels.
does that make this tender? is this emotionally intimate? bitch he doesn’t know he wants to open the box
ok now this is so gay you can run away ]
1/2
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